Rare Tissue

When I first started working in my office, tissues were provided by the company. A few months in, it was cut out of the budget, and I happily bought my own boxes of tissues. (I have this weird thing where I have a runny nose when I either step inside or outside a building.) I kept the tissue box on the left side of my desk where anybody could get them.

Soon, however, I started to get really annoyed when I’d run out of tissues. Pulling out the last tissue would oddly really stress me out, as I now would have to drag myself down to the pharmacy and buy a few more boxes. Also, that meant no more tissues for the rest of the day.

Curse my parents for being from equatorial climates!

One day, an incident really set me off. People I don’t work with were using our conference room, and one of them walked out straight to my tissue box and grabbed three tissues in quick succession. He then lightly wiped his nose and threw them out. That’s right - no blow, just an easy wipe, and into the garbage they all went. I was a little annoyed, and then HE DID IT AGAIN! Three tissues 1-2-3, scratch his nose, and into the trash! To top it all off, he finished the box! He then walked back in the conference room without even a word to me. 

I was SO ANNOYED. I’m sorry your highness, you need three tissues just to wipe your nose? Three tissues is for a nosebleed, and it better have come after a right hook. Well, anyway, I then moved my tissue box from where anybody could get them on my left side, to my right side, behind my computer monitor.

I became that guy.

A few days ago, another person who I don’t work with was in our conference room, and she saw me blow my nose and set up a sting operation to see where I was getting my supply. She then walked over to me:

"I’m so sorry, but may I have a tissue?"

I put the box out and let her grab a tissue. Just one, I thought to myself.

She walked away, but then she embarrassedly skulked back and asked if she could have a couple more. She apologized greatly. 

"Please, take as many as you need," I offered, as I again pulled the tissues out from behind the monitor.

She took a few, put them neatly in her pockets, and walked away.

I was off the next day. I arrived at my desk the day after to a fresh pack of travel tissues sitting on my keyboard. I turned crimson.

I now have a better idea of the face I was making as I offered that poor woman my box of tissues.