I haven’t had a light in my fridge for over 11 years.
When I first moved into my apartment I think the fridge light worked for a couple of days before the bulb died. I went to the dollar store and bought a new bulb, but I couldn’t get the case that housed the bulb in my fridge off. I told our super, who was able to take the case off, but when we put in my new bulb, it didn’t work.
“You have to make sure you get a bulb that lights up,” he explained.
He told me to go to a better store and buy a better bulb. So instead of the dollar store I went to Home Depot and asked a guy in an orange jumper for their best refrigerator bulb. He didn’t know what I was talking about but gave me a bulb that cost $8 from General Electric. However when I got home, that bulb didn’t work either. I told my super, but he said it was above his paygrade.
“Now you have to email the landlord and ask them to bring in a refrigerator technician.”
But when I mentioned it to the landlord, she asked if I could convince the super to give it another shot. I was now trapped in a strange sort of apartment bureaucracy. However my girlfriend and I agreed that not having a fridge light wasn’t too bad. We could still see into the albeit dark fridge, and there was something chic about not having a fridge light.
“It’s bohemian.”
Yesterday my fiancee opened the freezer door and a shelf snapped in half and fell to the floor. Everybody in our apartment was fine, save for some frozen broccoli. But now I’m dreading having to email my landlord. Firstly, I don’t even know how to explain how the shelf broke in half. She’s going to accuse me of breaking it somehow, and I do admit I like lifting cold weights.
Secondly I’m going to mention the light again, and that will be weird.
“Oh the light still doesn’t work.”
”From 11 years ago??
”Yeah.
”Why did you stay quiet for 11 years?”
”I’m sick. I need help.”
However I really really have to put my foot down because if and when I ever move, they’re gonna wonder why I let the fridge fall to shit without saying anything. Last thing I need is to be packing my improv books when I get a bill for a new fridge from my landlord.
“And this one better have a light.”