My girlfriend needed me to stop by her job on my way home and pick up her things. I was excited to find that topping this bag were several pairs of women’s shoes. The Latina girls sitting across from me on the train were also excited about it.

As I perused my phone, they started theorizing in Spanish about why I had a tote bag full of women’s shoes. 

"You think he wears them?" one asked to laughter.

"You’re terrible!" answered another. 

"Oh, maybe he and his girlfriend broke up and he’s bringing back her shoes…" said another one sadly. 

Finally they surmised that the shoes are my wife’s shoes and that she perished in a fire. This is due to the sad look I have on my face.

I always knew I had a sad face, but I didn’t know it was, “wife perished in a fire” sad.

Or at least I didn’t think it was, “carry my late wife’s shoes in a bag wherever I go” sad.

But I had warned her countless times not to keep her cigarettes near the toaster.