Night Rider

A few weeks ago, I decided to take a night time ride from Astoria to the Lower East Side down 2nd Ave.

At one point, it got really busy and a car beeped at me, even though I was in a clearly labeled bike lane. I ignored it, but a doorman who witnessed it started yelling at me:

"You stupid motherfuckers! Why don't y'all do this shit? See how easy it is to hold a door open and wear a suit?! Look at me, smiling is the hardest part of this job!"

I realized he thought I was a Latino delivery man. I felt kinda bad, considering these guys are hard-charging pros, and I could barely get a few blocks without incident.

If there are Latino delivery men who are thinking about switching over to doorman, definitely consider how smiling will be the toughest part of your job.